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That's the line we used to explain to others whom we had just met, what we were doing traveling around Guatemala.  The response was usually a laugh and a smile then curiosity led to a more thorough conversation. 

 Traveling in Guatemala is a challenge and indeed tests your survival skills.  Being fluent in Spanish would definitely be a boon, but since we are lacking in that capacity, we get by with our "cave man speak" of Spanish.

There are various types of travel available for those who don't rent cars. There are shuttle vans called "collectivos" and amazingly we've been in one with 22 other people.  There is the local tuk tuk, which is a three wheeled vehicle that shuttles you around town. Then there are several kinds of buses, first class, which as the name applies is comfy with AC (we wouldn't know ), The second class is a Pullman bus not as comfy, possibly with AC and makes many stops along the route. The third class is what the locals use called "chicken buses" which are the old Bluebird school buses from the U.S.A. These buses take on the personality of the driver/owners and are painted in various colors, with new chrome bumpers, additional luggage racks up top, and supped up engines that climb mountains better than cars.  And the horn is blaring as you come down a hill, going up a hill, around curves, or entering a city/town. They are the master commanders of the road. Many stops are made along the route, picking up locals and sometimes their chickens, dogs, even small pigs.  Sitting three to a seat, crammed in like sardines, thinking there isn't room for one more person, but there always is.  A chicken bus is never full.  All this just for 10Q (the national money is quetzales, and $1 US=7.5Q) A journey of just 30 miles will take up to two hours sometimes, depending upon the condition of the road and how many stops.  It is indeed the most entertaining ride in Guatemala.

Antigua is a beautiful city with cobblestone streets and colonial architecture throughout the town.  There are many churches, some built back in the 1500's that are still standing, but damaged by earthquakes and the natural erosion of time.  Some churches are still being used today.

We met up with three other couples, all from Mario's Marina, while we were in Antigua and decided to climb Mt. Pacaya, (2552m) an active volcano.  Of the 37 volcanoes throughout Guatemala, three are active and are in the vicinity of Antigua.  The volcano is a popular hike with the trail being well worn and several rest stops along the way up.

Not being in the best of shape, (we are boat people), we slowly made our way towards the top.  Aaron being badly out of shape (in his opinion, he is the smartest of the group), paid the $7 for the horse to take him most of the way.  High Ho Silver Away!!

After 2 1/2 hours of hiking up and up, we finally made it to the ridge just below the top.  Since the volcano had erupted just four months ago, the final ascent going all the way to the top, was too dangerous and not allowed, which was just fine with us.  We were thrilled we had made it this far and enjoyed the spectacular views.

After our day of adventure of climbing up and down  Mt. Pacaya, (it only took us 45 minutes to walk down) it was time to rest our weary selves and celebrate our success at Monoloco's. (Crazy Monkey) Pictured here Left to Right, Karen n Mike, Kay n Sonny, Pancho, and Ani n Roberto

Our next outing was to a famous coffee plantation, Filadelphia, for a guided tour.  As dedicated coffee drinkers, we never knew what the process was to create that cup of java that is a must have in the mornings.  Guatemala has one of the best climates for coffee plants to thrive.  The volcanic soil and the amount of rain make it ideal.

The plants are shaded by taller trees to protect them from the sun.  The coffee beans have four layers of skin that thru the process are peeled away.  The months of November and December are when the beans are harvested and the plantation comes alive with workers doing assigned tasks: the beans are picked, washed, fermented, dryed in the sun, then sorted by size, with the final process of roasting.

This is where the beans are laid out to dry on tile.  The tile allows the air to flow from below and the drying time can take up to two weeks.

As we were on the tour, Volcan Fuego let off some steam.  Can you see the white smoke on top of the mountain in the background?

After the tour was completed, we were each given a cup of coffee to sample.  All the coffee grown here is arabiac, and their biggest buyer is Japan.  Although, Starbucks does buy the beans before they are roasted.  (Starbucks over roasts their beans, by the way)

Well, it was off to school, Spanish classes that is.  So, we traveled first to Panajachel, 90 miles from Antigua and up in the mountains.  Pana is a sort of hippie laidback kind of town, much smaller (14000) and situated right on Lake Atitlan.  The lake is surrounded by three volcanoes and was naturally made by a volcanic crater sinking into itself a long long time ago.  This entire area is so beautiful and untouched.  Small towns lie scattered around the lake and the Mayan are much more prominent here.  After all, Guatemala is known as "The Land of the Maya"

The lake is 8km north to south, and 18km east to west.  We did take a boat tour that made stops to three towns around the lake.  And finally we settled in San Pedro La Laguna, where we found a brand new hotel for 80Q a night ($10). San Pedro is a really laidback kind of town, where a lot of backpackers come and hangout for awhile, some staying for years. The prices are much more cheaper than other places.  We made arrangements for school, selecting Escuela de Espanol "Cooperative", that sits on top of a hill overlooking the lake.

Lucy, was a Mayan, 22 yrs old, and taught English at the high school.  Rueben, 24,married has twin sons and both of them grew up here.  During the week of school, there was a conference on the history of Guatemala, salsa classes, a documentary about the civil war, and on Friday we delivered bags of food to the needy. We had donated money to help with this project.  On Saturday, we went kayaking. School was 4 hrs a day in the morning, (20 hrs of class cost $52/wk)  Most of the homes have no electricity since it costs too much. The average income is 30Q/day.  And so no refrigeration.  Food is cooked on wood burning stoves.

We rented motorbikes and drove up into the mountains and visited this Mayan shrine, a sacred religious place nestled in the forest. Along the way, we drove on dirt roads with corn growing on either side.  The Mayan are called "hombres of maiz" (men of corn).  They definitely know how to grow it and corn rules here.  No flour tortillas available.

Guatemala, "The Land of the Maya".  They are like the native Indians in the United States in that they are viewed as lower class and have been mistreated, but the Mayan culture is strong and its influence is vital to Guatemala as a country.  They are small in stature, but have strong beliefs, and the women are holding on to their culture and still dress in the traditional clothing.  Very few men still do, Lucy says it is due to the cost of cloth being just too expensive.

The average income in this area is 30Q/day ($4). When we were riding our motorbikes, we came across this old man wearing the traditional Mayan clothing with his mule hauling firewood.

Quiere pan?  (would you like some bread?)

This is Juanita and she sold homemade bread, coconut or banana, or cinnamon rolls each day.  She always had a smile on her face.  The Mayan women always carry their baskets on top of their heads, which they learn at a young age. Actually, the head is used as a third hand.

This is Aaron demonstrating his newly developed Mayan technique for carrying luggage.  The Mayan girl smiled and giggled as she passed by.

Each city/town has a market day where locals come to buy and sell their wares, like vegetables, crafts, textiles, flowers, and bread.  It is a big affair and in the town of Chichicastenango it is a huge event every Sunday.  The streets are lined with vendors on each side, and there is hardly any room to walk.  Every vendor is trying to sell you something and they work really hard at it, especially when a gringo/gringa walks by. All prices are negotiable, and it is a game that they are very good at.  Even the youngsters are taught at a young age how to sell items.

As you walk by, you hear "Special price for you" " Best price, name your price."
Opening at 8am and lasting til 5pm, the better prices are later in the day.  After 5pm, everyone goes home and the streets are empty and bare.

 Everywhere you go, kids are the same.  They are the essence of innocence and their smiles and laughter bring a smile to your face and warm your heart.  They love ice cream.

Aaron, being an experienced grandpa, always carried candy in his pocket for his little friends.  At the hotel in San Pedro, this little boy came for a piece of candy everyday.

All around San Pedro kids would fly kites.  The only problem was they would get tangled up in power lines or on rooftops.  Aaron being a big kid himself, helped these two retrieve their kite.  He hoisted one of them up high but he was too scared, so Aaron starting clucking like a chicken and calling him "pollo".  He came right back and said, "You're King Kong"

After a week of Spanish class, it was time to move on.   After being in the mountains, it was time to see the beach scene.  The thought of chilling out on the beach and sipping cold ones sounded good so we headed for the Pacific coast to the town of Montericco.  The trip via a shuttle van (only 8 people in this one), was unique.  The temperature started heating up and the terrain was flatter, with sugarcane growing in the fields. Crossing a river via a small car ferry with just one outboard motor as propulsion, and then seeing how loofahs were grown and harvested was interesting.

Montericco is a very small town that  has black sand beaches that get very very hot during the day.  The surf breaks close to shore and the riptide is strong.  Our hotel was right on the beach with primitive accommodations.  Saltwater showers and sink and our bed was a concrete slab with a 3" mattress on top.  We did meet Hector and Lou who run a hotel further down the beach and wished we had stayed there, but we enjoyed visiting with them, over rum n cokes and learning about Montericco.  This place during the week is dead, but on the weekends the Guatemalans come here in numbers. We were hoping to see the turtles come in to shore to lay their eggs, but the timing wasn't right. We did the ecotour in a canoe with no motor the next morning arising before daybreak after a night of a goose squawking right by our window.  Didn't see much but a beautiful sunrise, a few jumping fish, some birds and waterlillies. We left that afternoon and decided that this beach life just wasn't our rum punch

LANGUIN AND SEMUC CHAMPEY

It took us 2 1/2 days of travel to arrive at our next destination of Languin in the central part of Guatemala.  We stayed at Hotel Retiro, a hotel located by a river and surrounded by hills with tropical greenery everywhere.  It was a place to rest and relax for awhile and many backpackers stay here.  There are about 15 palapas each housing either dormitory settings or private rooms, each having hammocks hanging out front on the porch.  The restaurant/bar serves vegetarian food.  (Aaron survived five days without meat.  It is a record)  The Grutas de Languin (caves) are close by further up the river.  The hotel offers rides to the caves, and rents inner tubes in which to float down the river back to the hotel.  We toured the cave, (your basic cave) and afterwards we splashed the tubes and floated the 25 minutes downstream. The river flows out from the cave and it is the coldest water we have ever been in.  We enjoyed it so much we did it again.

Thomas, just two days before we met him, had been on the Rio Dulce on a sailboat charter when during the night as they were anchored out, three men came aboard and tied up the crew and robbed the other 6 passengers and Tom.  Luckily, no one was hurt, but Thomas lost his camera, MP3 player and his cash.  Rob works in Coban for the last five years in development and speaks fluent K'iche, a Mayan language.  Christine had a great sense of humor and her and Rob kept us laughing.

Here's Rob explaining the different regions in Guatemala where Mayan languages differ.  There are 20 separate distinct Mayan languages, but K'iche is the most common.  Though many Maya also speak Spanish as well, it's always a second language to them and there are many who don't speak any Spanish.

Semuc Champey, just 45 minutes away on a bumpy dirt road, is famed for its natural limestone pools with cool flowing river water perfect for swimming.   Much of the river flows beneath these pools and comes gushing out about 1/2 mile downriver.  We joined the tour group from our hotel and visited the caves first.  This was just an incredible exploration, wearing swimsuits and shoes we waded into the cave in about 2 feet of water.  Then with our lighted candle we began to go deeper into the cave and awkwardly swam a ways mindful to keep the candle dry.  You could hear a waterfall in the distance and the eerie glow of candlelight shimmered off of the cave walls showing the different stalactites and stalagmites.  We climbed up a ladder thru and around the waterfall and continued our trek.  Swimming a bit more, hiking along the cave walls, climbing then finally the turnaround point was a 7 ft jump back into the water and returning the same way.  This was an extreme and intense tour and not recommended for everyone.  After our sack lunch, we hiked to Semuc Champey.

The pools are emerald and turquoise colors and the water is so clear.  This is where the Rio Cahabon flows out beneath the pools

SEMUC CHAMPEY

Our tour group consisted of mostly Israelis, just out of their 3 year commitment in the military.  Being in their 20's and in terrific shape, the 45 minute hike to the lookout tower was easy.  I didn't hear the guide say that it was "extreme" and the 45 minutes turned into over an hour as I slowly made my up.  It was up (arriba) all the way.  My legs were so tired and as soon as I made it to the outlook tower and managed to click a few pictures, it was time for the descent.  Everyone else had rested 10-15 minutes.  Although the descent was much easier, I was exhausted by the time we made it to the pools for a wonderful and well deserved swim.  Aaron, knowing his limits, had been waiting in the swimming pools.

WOW, I made it.  What a beautiful sight of the valley below.  See the turquoise pools.  The river flows north of here and flows down into a cave underneath these pools.  Awesome.

This is the beginning of where the river begins to flow into the caves.  Thank goodness Aaron is holding me up. 
This place was the prettiest spot in all of Guatemala.

After that survival type of day adventure  , it was time for happy hour.  Rusty served up some strong ones and as we relaxed we rehashed our day and visited with Thomas some more about Switzerland.  The next day, we hired a 4 wheel drive truck and made the journey back to the Rio, and our boat.  We had been away for a month, and it was good to be back home.  We discovered and learned a lot about Guatemala and fear that change is just around the corner.  This land is too beautiful and untouched that this paradise can't stay that way for long.  The land and the people who live here are extraordinary.  And those that visit come away with a feeling that this experience will be one of a lifetime.